JL's Columbia SC Real Estate Blog: The High Road is Never Closed

The High Road is Never Closed

Blythewood, SC Homes for Sale  I have written on the topic of learning to let things go once all is said and done and I can assure you that advice always bares repeating. Once a tough deal is done or you get jilted by a seller or buyer for that matter, it's always best to just move on and put things behind you. But what about when you are in the thick of things?

  I can assure you from personal experience that there is nothing easy about remaining calm when others do not subscribe to the same practice, but I can also tell you it's for the best in the long run. Getting into a heated exchange with a client or another agent rarely ends well.


Blythewood, SC Homes for Sale  It only takes a second for the wrong words to slip out and once their out they can't be taken back. I have myself typed out an email to vent my frustrations and blast the other party, then read it slowly and hit the delete button. Try it some time if you just need to get the situation out of your head.

  Thing about it is that we are the professionals and it is our reputation on the line, not the client's. I don't know about you but I spent a lot of time building mine up and the last thing I need or want is for a temporary lapse in judgment to tear things down. Sometimes even if you do your very best, people will still not be happy with you and in all honesty, some people just aren't happy to start with. So when it comes time to make a decision on how to handle these tough situations, please try to remember that the high road is never closed, you just have to make the decision to take it.


JL Boney, III - Columbia, SC Realtor - Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate

 I specialize in Columbia, SC real estate and the surrounding areas, including Blythewood, SC, Kershaw County, Fairfield County, and Lexington, SC. If you are in the market to buy or sell a home in Columbia, SC or any of the surrounding areas, I would love the opportunity to speak with to see how I can help. Thanks for reading and feel free to contact me if I can be of service to you.

Office- 803-788-1450     Cell- 803-730-9601     Email- James_Boney@Yahoo.com

My Columbia SC Real Estate Website

My Columbia, SC Real Estate Blog



Subscribe to JL Boney's Columbia SC Real Estate Blog by Email


Comment balloon 39 commentsJL Boney, III • February 26 2018 11:48PM


You just have to make the decision to take it.

Wise words. 

Once it's out there, you can't take it back. A lesson hard learned sometimes.

Posted by Sharon Tara, New Hampshire Home Stager (Sharon Tara Transformations) 12 months ago

Good evening JL Boney, III ,

Love..love love this message! Always take the high road..once negativity leaves your lips you can't pull it back..its like the toothpaste that comes out of a tube..once it's out it can't be put back in!

Posted by Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR, Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate (Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899) 12 months ago

HIgh integrity is something to be protected and cherished. Once you lose it there is no guarantee you can ever earn it back.

Posted by Debbie Reynolds, Your Dedicated Clarksville TN Real Estate Agent (Platinum Properties) 12 months ago

Good morning JL. This is thoughtful and smart. Good job and very important.

Posted by Sheila Anderson, The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133 (Referral Group Incorporated) 12 months ago

Great message JL.   The high road isn't always easy but it is always the right path. It's not so crowded there, either. 

Posted by Carol Williams, "Customized Mentoring & Marketing Services" (U.S.: I specialize in helping agents who have been in the business 2 years or less create a thriving business.) 12 months ago

Oh, taking the high road is a lifestyle for me too, JL! I've done the same thing you have about the emails - I'll let it sit in drafts overnight and then when I read it the next day, I'm ever so thankful I didn't hit the 'send' button!

Great post! Happy Tuesday!

Posted by Debe Maxwell, CRS, Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte Neighborhoods (www.iCharlotteHomes.com | The Maxwell House Group | RE/MAX Executive | (704) 491-3310) 12 months ago

Yes, Bernie and I discuss disappointments or frustrations with one another, then we try to look for the lesson. Sometimes there is no real lesson, and we quickly let it go. Far far away. :)  I like the High Road best. 

Posted by Debb Janes EcoBroker and Bernie Stea JD, REALTORS® in Clark County, WA (ViewHomes of Clark County - Nature As Neighbors) 12 months ago

marti garaughty, abstract art, graphic design, marketing, WordPress consultant

Posted by marti garaughty, a highly caffeinated creative type... (garaughty.com) 12 months ago

Once something has been said, it can never be unsaid. My parents always said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" and their voices still echo through my mind.

Posted by Kat Palmiotti, The House Kat (Grand Lux Realty, Monroe NY, 914-419-0270, kat@thehousekat.com) 12 months ago

JL it is so important to take the high road and not react to anything. My Mom taught me well on this one and I am forever grateful that she did.

Posted by Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS 602-380-4886, Arizona's Top Banana! (Phoenix Property Shoppe) 12 months ago

Another great post, @JL! You are so right about how you can hurt yourself and your reputation with just one quick slipup. The high road is the best one to take!

Posted by Marney Kirk, Towson, Maryland Real Estate (Cummings & Co. Realtors) 12 months ago

Nothing worse than wanting to step on your tongue after you've said something stupid!

Posted by Margaret Goss, Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate (Baird & Warner Real Estate) 12 months ago

GReat message.  I think this is an excellent article for any profession!

Posted by Christine Kankowski North SD and Temecula, Excellent Sales and Property Management (House Match Inc) 12 months ago

I gave an interview yesterday about how to know when it's time to fire your agent. And the interviewer asked how can a buyer recover from a screaming match with her agent.

She can't. It's over at that point. Some things you can't fix.

Posted by Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Real Estate Agent, Top 1% of Lyon Agents, Put 40 years of experience to work for you (Lyon Real Estate) 12 months ago

Even though there are technically 1000s and 1000s of agents in my market, it's actually a small, small world after all (get that out of your head now!) and I seem to frequently find myself doing a deal with an agent I've worked with before.  The fact that I wasn't a jerk with them before gains points for my current clients because the other agent knows how I do business.  Reputation matters.  Bill

Posted by Liz and Bill Spear, RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton) (RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com) 12 months ago

Love the title of your post, yes the high road should always be the chosen one.

Posted by Michael Eisenberg, Bellingham Real Estate Guy (eXp Realty) 12 months ago

Very good advice. Writing and deleting is great advice, just make sure to leave the address bar empty in case you hit the wrong button.

Posted by Nick Vandekar, 610-203-4543, Tredyffrin Easttown Realtors, Philly Main Line (Long & Foster Real Estate Inc 610-225-7400) 12 months ago

to have a road to take if one chooses to believe it... puts us all in the game of life

Posted by Richie Alan Naggar, agent & author (people first...then business Ran Right Realty ) 12 months ago

I love that.  The high road is always open.  That is a road well traveled in my world.

Posted by Chris Ann Cleland, Associate Broker, Bristow, VA (Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA) 12 months ago

Sharon - It can be a tough decision sometimes, but worth making for sure.


Dorie - No going back in at all and too much hassle to try and repair.


Debbie - It's a long road at best, integrity is a good thing to keep if possible.


Sheila - Thank you.


Carol - You can certainly move about freely. Plenty of elbow room.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) 12 months ago

Debe - Letting the draft sit is a good idea. Better reread those things after you calm down.


Debb and Bernie - My wife and I run through things sometimes and that seems to help. We are both in real estate so our frustrations make sense to each other.


Marti - Thank You for the feature.


Kat - My grandmother used to tell me the same thing. It was good advice.


Anna - You Mom sounds like a wise woman.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) 12 months ago

Marney - It takes a lot longer to build than to tear down.


Margaret - I have been there and it's no fun.


Christine - Thank you.


Elizabeth - Once it's gone, unfortunately it's gone.


Liz and Bill - We have a lot of agents here as well,  but word does get out and the last thing you need is your name dragged through the mud for poor decisions..

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) 12 months ago

Michael - I agree. Thanks for stopping by.


Nick & Trudy - Leaving the address bar empty is a good idea.


Richie - True story.


Chris - Keep traveling it as long as you can my friend.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) 12 months ago

Well said, JL Boney, III,  and important to keep in mind! While the high road is never closed, there are times the air is thin 'up here' which only makes some situations harder to navigate...

Thanks for sharing this important reminder. Interesting how quickly one out of place comment can tear down years of hard work and good deeds.


Posted by Bruce Kunz, REALTOR®, Brick & Howell NJ Homes for Sale (C21 Solid Gold Realty, Brick, NJ, 732-920-2100) 12 months ago

This brings me back to a recent situation being crossed by close friends going with another agent on a private listing, after I showed them homes for a month! I was glad when they said they didn’t like it and we’re back to me as their realtor. If I had said what I felt, perhaps I would not be back to showing them house with me.

Posted by Ellen Caruso (Daniel Gale Sotheby's International Realty) 12 months ago

Dear JL,

Funny! Reminds me of a colleague, who yelled at me for a full 45 minutes, while I held my phone as far away from myself & my manager as possible. Forget the reason, but it was some small issue with a closing that resolved itself the next day. I learned a bunch of new words on that occasion. Now, I would hang up. Never forgot the professional demeanor of this top producer.

Posted by Dörte Engel, ABC - Annapolis, Bowie, Crofton & rest of Maryland (RE/MAX Leading Edge) 12 months ago

I agree wity you--tempting to 'go low' but keep those comments to yourself or vent to a trusted friend/spouse.  Positive always outweighs negative.

Posted by Mary Hutchison, SRES, ABR, Experienced Agent in Kansas City Metro area (Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate-Kansas City Homes) 12 months ago

Sometimes it's better to be assertive in a respectful and professional manner rather than to be politically correct, therefore, remaining in control of the outcome and consequences regarding adverse circumstances.

Unfortunately, circumstances occur that make compromise difficult or impossible and opportunities are lost, yet, doing what's right is IMO always best regardless of any relationship or monetary loss. Your character and virtue are priceless, so guard it diligently. 

Posted by Kimo Jarrett, Pro Lifestyle Solutions (WikiWiki Realty) 12 months ago

Your post reminded me of moment in time from many years ago that forever changed me.  It changed EVERYTHING about how I communicate with others and I don't recall being "mad" since.  I was watching my husband angrily talk to our son about having not done a project that was due the next day after a conversation with the teacher. 

I saw the exact moment when Colin's eyes glazed over and he was still "listening" to Donald, but he wasn't "hearing" him any longer.  That moment for me forever changed how I relate to others when I disagree with them. I truly wish I'd figured it out decades prior. 

I do believe that it's made me a better professional when dealing with conflict. I know that I had to keep them hearing what I'm trying to convey and that must come from a place of construction and not power.  

Posted by Tammy Lankford,, Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville (Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668) 12 months ago

Great words of wisdom.

No one can control our tongues except ourselves.

Words are powerful, they can build up and they can tear down.


Posted by John Wiley, Lee County, FL Real Estate GRI, SRES,GREEN,PSA (Right Move Real Estate Group- EXP Realty) 12 months ago

I, too, often write emails just to make myself feel better, then delete. The older I get, the better I become at zipping my lip! With a reputation for being bluntly honest, it's tough to change, but I try to remember to ask myself "What good will it do?" If the answer is only to get my thoughts "off my chest" or to make others aware of someone elses's dishonesty or ruthlessness or downright insanity, then it's best that I bury my thoughts and let others come to their own conclusions. I like to think of it as having "grace" by not saying what I'm thinking...sounds better than biting my tongue!

Posted by Jamie King, Sandusky, OH (Hoty Enterprises, Inc.) 12 months ago

Your title is so true... the high road is never closed.  But, sometimes, it is under construction!

Posted by Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty, Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County (Bucci Realty, Inc.) 12 months ago


Congrats on this well deserved feature. It's important to always keep in mind that the high road is always there...and not just in our business! Something, in the heat of the emotions, that can be tough to do! Some simply do not know that road exists, nor care!


Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (Solutions Real Estate ) 12 months ago

JL- excellent!!!!  And your title along with Gary L. Waters, Broker Owner, Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC comment are perfect. My aunt used to say "Never stoop." This reminds me of her words. 

Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) 12 months ago

Bruce - I do like the statement that the air gets thin.


Ellen - It is tough when you know someone personally that does you wrong, but if you can swallow it, it's usually for the best.


Dorte - I can see where that would make an impression on you.


Mary - It is tempting but never the right thing to do.


Kimo - Sometimes you do just have to lose the money. there's always more out there.


Tammy - Anger may get your frustration out, but it won't get your message across it just makes the other person shut down or fight more.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) 12 months ago

John - Yes they can.


Jamie - I have gotten better at it with time, but I had to train myself. Holding my tongue is not my natural state.


Gary -  I like your statement.


Jeff - I have met a few in my day that do not know it's here my friend.


Kathy - I was told to never stoop to the level of another when I was younger. I had to get older to listen.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) 12 months ago

Congratulations on your featured post. Good reminder to all of us. 

Posted by JoAnn Moore, Home Loans in Delaware (The Mortgage Market of Delaware) 12 months ago

Taking the high road is a much smoother ride than the low road filled with potholes and grenades!  The low roads take way too much time, energy, and negative emotions.

Posted by Sharon Parisi, Dallas Homes (United Real Estate Dallas ) 12 months ago

Agree on all counts with Tammy Lankford, !  Great response.  I typically try to remove myself and remember to take the high road on all matters.  I'm in the middle of one such situation now and having to tread lightly with another agent.  I'd like to be remembered as being fair to everyone, not just buyers and sellers.  Great post!

Posted by Jan Green, HomeSmart Elite Group, REALTOR®, EcoBroker, GREEN (Value Added Service, 602-620-2699) 12 months ago