JL's Columbia SC Real Estate Blog: Self Help is an Oxymoron!

Self Help is an Oxymoron!

 My wife is always reading self-help books and thinks that I should read them too. I have read many books, but never have I read a self-help book. I tell her that if you are helping yourself, you don't need the book. That's not self help, it's help.

 In my opinion, most people who rad self help books already know how they feel and what the problem is. They also already know what they want the solution to be. So, they tend to simply read several books on the subject until they find the one that says what they want it to. This isn't help either, it's the need for confirmation.

 You already know what you want in life, you already know how you feel, and no one else can or should tell you otherwise. Stop looking for approval from others. It's our right as free people to express our opinion whether or not anyone else shares it.

 Next, I teach you the easiest way to get rich quick. Write a book called " How to get Rich Quick ". You'll make millions!








JL Boney, III - Columbia, SC Realtor - Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate

 I specialize in Columbia, SC real estate and the surrounding areas, including Blythewood, SC, Kershaw County, Fairfield County, and Lexington, SC. If you are in the market to buy or sell a home in Columbia, SC or any of the surrounding areas, I would love the opportunity to speak with to see how I can help. Thanks for reading and feel free to contact me if I can be of service to you.

Office- 803-788-1450     Cell- 803-730-9601     Email- James_Boney@Yahoo.com

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Comment balloon 1 commentJL Boney, III • January 29 2008 11:18AM


I see your point, but kind of disagree with you.  As a self professed, 'self help junkie' I don't read books that just simply tell me what I want to hear.  I look for books that make distinctions in what I already know.  This is very different.  Let me give you an example....

I have read many books that tell you to envision what you want to have in your life.  Write goals down, reveiew them, yadda yadda.  Talk the talk, walk the walk... fake it till you make it.  I love conversations and books about manifestations.  I believe Deepak when he says to ask the universe and it will come to you.  Here's the thing though.... I was doing that & getting it to some degree.  I asked the universe for 'financial abundance' in all honesty, our combined income has quadrupled in the last 3 years.  I would in fact call that a realization of my manifestation.  Still I have been frustrated with our financial picture.  You see, while our income is now significant, our debt has moved right along with it (mostly investements into my business).  We are still living paycheck to paycheck (though we do put away our 6-10% in 401K plan).  So, what was the problem? 

I read a new 'self help' book called, The Science of Success and it gave me a distinction that is making all the difference in the world for us.  We were not specific enough.  We also didn't watch all of our rules for finances.  We had ones like, 'we'll always have money when we need it'.... This told the universe there will be times we will 'need it'.... setting up the disasters in advance.  We said things like, 'we'll always have car payments'.... WHY?  We didn't always have car payments.  There was a time when the only debt we had was our home.  how about the rule, 'you spend as much as you make'?  Yep, we were pretty familiar with that one too.....

The new book helped us realize that while we were getting what we asked for... in this case, financial abundance, we didn't ask for the right thing.... our new request from the universe... 'financial freedom'. 

Now here is the rub.  Your wife is wrong for asking you to read the books.  I used to do this with my husband.  I've stopped doing that.  You won't believe them anyway.  The best thing for her to do is live the life they teach her... make the distinctions herself.  Talk to you about them over dinner, out walking, whenever you are having polite conversation.  Let her show you how these distinctions have changed who she is..... this works for my husband.  When I make a huge shift in distinctions, he'll inevidably follow simply because he wants what I've got.... we've been married going on 20 years now.  It works!

Posted by Melissa Marro, Jacksonville Real Estate and Home Staging (Keller Williams First Coast Realty - The Marro Team) over 12 years ago