JL's Columbia SC Real Estate Blog: It's Not About You

It's Not About You

Columbia, SC Real Estate



 One of the most difficult hurdles I have seen agents in this business get over is themselves. That's right, I am talking to you. It's not an easy thing to do, I will be the first to admit. But at some point, you are going to have to get over yourself in order to have any success at all and that's regardless of the market.

 Now give me a moment to explain. I'm not just talking about your ego, Lord knows there are times when my head will fill a room too. You also have to get over taking everything personal as well. For your clients this is personal, for you this is business. This is the profession you have chosen and now it's time to be a professional.

 That means it's not about you. It's all about your client and what it is that you can do for them.

  You have to consider the fact that your entire job is based on giving the client what they want. Good service, good advice, and a closed transaction. Guess what, in the end that's exactly what you want too so why not go ahead and give your client what they want. Because in the end, no matter how you slice it, this isn't about you. It's about them.

 I think it was Zig Ziglar that said, " You can have anything you want in life, you just have to help enough people get what they want first". So keep that in mind the next time you start thinking of yourself throughout the process. Just help your clients get what they want and in the end, you'll get where you need to be too.



JL Boney, III - Columbia, SC Realtor - Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate

 I specialize in Columbia, SC real estate and the surrounding areas, including Blythewood, SC, Kershaw County, Fairfield County, and Lexington, SC. If you are in the market to buy or sell a home in Columbia, SC or any of the surrounding areas, I would love the opportunity to speak with to see how I can help. Thanks for reading and feel free to contact me if I can be of service to you.

Office- 803-788-1450     Cell- 803-730-9601     Email- James_Boney@Yahoo.com

My Columbia SC Real Estate Website

My Columbia, SC Real Estate Blog



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Comment balloon 48 commentsJL Boney, III • December 06 2011 02:18PM


Great advice & many should give up the drama.

Posted by Lyn Sims, Schaumburg Real Estate (RE/MAX Suburban) almost 9 years ago

JL- I love the quote from Zig at the end of your post!  So true!  

Posted by Christine Bohn, The Bohn Team, Gainesville FL (RE/MAX Professionals) almost 9 years ago

Howdy JL-Long time no see I hope you and family are doing well. This is great advice. Happy Holidays to you and family

Posted by Sharon Lee, Retired and loving life (Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance) almost 9 years ago

Hear ye.  Hear ye.  I'm hear you loud and clear.  I'm going to make sure others hear you to.  I'm clicking and featuring you in the group Bananatude.

Posted by Charita Cadenhead, Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama) (eXp Realty) almost 9 years ago

Couldn't agree with you more. Agents may reach a certain level of success without mastering this,..but there will always be a ceiling that can't be broken through until an agent lets go of this in ALL ways. IMHO

Posted by Ken Brandon, Camp Lejeune, Jacksonville, NC (Coldwell Banker Sea Coast Advantage (Jacksonville, NC)) almost 9 years ago

Thanks for sharing, good thoughts.

Posted by Ira Bodenstein, NMLS#: 445143 (PNC Mortgage) almost 9 years ago

Great advice and a reminder to all of us that it is not personal it is just business. We all get beat up at times no matter how you try to advise and please the clients, you can't always win.Thanks for sharing

Posted by Joan Congilose, Helping Sellers & Buyers (New Jersey Properties) almost 9 years ago

Good thoughts.  Drama does not do anybody any good.

Posted by Luis Iniguez, Search Inland Empire Homes For Sale - Short Sale Agent (Option One Real Estate) almost 9 years ago

Most definitely, JL. If we would all tune out the WIIFM station and pay more attention to the WIIFY station, we would be much better off in helping those who need and want our help.

Posted by William James Walton Sr., Greater Waterbury Real Estate (WEICHERT, REALTORS® - Briotti Group) almost 9 years ago

Amen and spot on.

Posted by Frank Iglesias, Atlanta, GA Real Estate Investor (Working With Houses, LLC - Atlanta Real Estate Investments) almost 9 years ago

Hi JL,

This blog is bang on....

It's never about us, always about helping our clients in the best way possible.

Have a fabulous week.

Posted by Digital Digital, full service almost 9 years ago

Hi JL...

Another awesome post with some sage advice for agents that forget just whom they are working for!

Posted by Richard Weisser, Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional (Richard Weisser Realty) almost 9 years ago

Very true, JL!  I had to laugh a bit that my first thought when I started to comment was 'If I post a comment tonight then there will be proof that I've been on ActiveRain (off and on) from more than 12 hours today'. But since it's not all ABOUT ME that's okay, right? :)

I love the Koi image that you used. It could work well for a number of topics in our industry.

- Dee Bundy

Posted by NoCo Home Team, Sell Smart, Buy Wise & Live Well in Nrthn Colorado (C3 Real Estate Solutions) almost 9 years ago

If I could possibly add to your advice-  Yes, it's not about you. But, you also have to learn to not be afraid of rejection.  Many agents are afraid to close a deal because they are afraid that the "time isn't right" and the answer will be negative.  This fear is hurting both the agent and the client.

Posted by Mark Delgado, Benicia and Vallejo, Property Management, rental h (houses for rent, Solano County & Glen Cove) almost 9 years ago

Very well put JL. I couldn't think of a better way to say this!

Posted by Donald Reich (Prudential Centennial) almost 9 years ago

I think that I can probably do better at getting my clients what they want. I try but I can do better. You are right, it's not about me JL.

Posted by Tom Arstingstall, General Contractor, Dry Rot, Water Damage Sacramento, El Dorado County - (916) 765-5366, General Contractor, Dry Rot and Water Damage (Dry Rot and Water Damage www.tromlerconstruction.com Mobile - 916-765-5366) almost 9 years ago

JL you hit the nail on the head.  It is not about US it is about the CLIENT! In all cases.  we are just there to assist and Serve!   Great post.  Best to you..... and your clients. :)

Posted by Joan Valverde, GRI,CDPE,CNE,MRP,SRES Colo Sprgs, Blk Forest, Monu (HomeSmart Realty) almost 9 years ago

Thank you for the reminder, This market is especially fully with challenging clients so your advise is timely and clear.

Posted by Charles Balducci (Coldwell Banker Preferred :: Rittenhouse) almost 9 years ago

Amen, if we help others get what they want and serve them we will do very well.

Posted by Elite Home Sales Team, A Tenacious and Skilled Real Estate Team (Elite Home Sales Team OC) almost 9 years ago

We have a tendency to make "us" he center of the universe. In a real estate transaction it just isn't "me."

Posted by Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty, Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County (Bucci Realty, Inc.) almost 9 years ago

great philosophy, I bookmarked it to come back from time to time!

Posted by Scott Fogleman, Greater Good Group (New Home Team 804-573-9592) almost 9 years ago

Hi JL,

Could not have said it better myself.

The day of ego marketing is past.

The day of the expensive car to impress is past.

The day of true customer service is here. Has always been here. Will always be here.



Posted by Phil Leng, Phil Leng - Retired (Retired) almost 9 years ago

We are service providers. We help folks in lousy situations get through them as painlessly as possible and educate them about the process. Pull on experience. But it is always about the customer. The buyer is busy, has little time to waste and just wants more images, more information, video of the place to save time, sort out what he is going to actually tour. Save him time. If you do marketing pieces, blog posts just for your own enjoyment, with no target audience segment except to please yourself, you won't be selling real estate long. It's not the wit, charm, Herb Tarlet plaid sports jacket that's too small they want. It's the little red hen production house service and information provide they need.

Posted by Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573, Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker (MOOERS REALTY) almost 9 years ago

This is a great post to start my day off with. Sometimes with life going on around us, it is easy to forget why we are in this business.

Posted by Ciara Brennan (Mass Homes Realty) almost 9 years ago

Greta point and a good reminder. . .I cringe when I come across agents that fit this profile. . .they are so easily recognized

Posted by Fernando Herboso - Broker for Maxus Realty Group, 301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA (Maxus Realty Group - Broker 301-246-0001) almost 9 years ago

I hope I have not been this agent ever, I know a couple that its about them and I dont know how they do it.

Posted by Chuck Carstensen, Minnesota Real Estate Expert (RE/MAX Results) almost 9 years ago

Great advice - a simple concept that is so easily overlooked but is spot on. Keep the focus on the client and the result is favorable for everyone.

Posted by Charlie Dresen, Steamboat Springs, CO e-Pro (Steamboat Sotheby's International Realty) almost 9 years ago

JL, good advice! This is a business and should be treated as such. I've seen this happen several times where the agent moves in with their client during the transaction and puts everything on a personal level.

Posted by Michael Setunsky, Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA almost 9 years ago

Very true and great advice.  Thanks for the reminder.  

Posted by Amanda Christiansen, Christiansen Group Realty (Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843) almost 9 years ago
Wow, I like the way you said this! Great job and a well deserved feature!
Posted by Cheryl Ritchie, Southern Maryland 301-980-7566 (RE/MAX Leading Edge www.GoldenResults.com) almost 9 years ago

In other words, get out of your own way!



Posted by Margaret Goss, Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate (Baird & Warner Real Estate) almost 9 years ago

Many practicioners place their commission ahead of their clients best interest(which btw they would deny), but ultimately they do something in the transaction that clearly signals this !

Posted by Michael J. Perry, Lancaster, PA Relo Specialist (KW Elite ) almost 9 years ago

Jl: Thanks! That's funny you should write this. There's a great new book out there called "It's not about you". You should get a copy. Thanks for posting!

Posted by Paul McFadden, Pest Control, Seattle, WA. (Paratex) almost 9 years ago

Hi JL, this is so true and you described it very well. It is also timely because we need to figure out how to make the best of 2012.

Posted by Sandy Acevedo, RE/MAX Masters, Inland Empire Homes for Sale (951-290-8588) almost 9 years ago

Short and sweet. I like what you said and great quote! Words of wisdom.

Posted by Tyler Rackley, www.gorichmondrealestate.com (The 20/20 Team) almost 9 years ago

very true, it doesn't need to be hat difficult.

Posted by Matthew O'Hare almost 9 years ago

JL, I love the Zig Ziglar quote. I read that years ago, but it's taken me awhile to be able to live those words daily, and they are very true.

Posted by Pamela Seley, Residential Real Estate Agent serving SW RivCo CA (West Coast Realty Division) almost 9 years ago

If only the people that needed to give their heads a good shake would read this!  I've seen my share of Drama Kings and Queens in this industry. 

Posted by Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED (RETIRED / State License is Inactive) almost 9 years ago

Hi JL,  Great reminder to us all.  I see so many agent ads where they tell us about all the awards, etc.

Posted by Bill Gillhespy, Fort Myers Beach Realtor, Fort Myers Beach Agent - Homes & Condos (16 Sunview Blvd) almost 9 years ago

Yep, the biggest obstacle in most transactions that I've had, isn't the Buyers or Sellers, but rather the ego of the other agent. It is sometimes challenging to allow that other agent, who often times demonstrates that their inflated opinion of their own skills is undeserved, continue to be the "big guy". As long as it serves my clients needs, I'll do my best to allow the other agent to think they are in charge.

Posted by Greg Kilroy, the Velocity Group (Keller Williams Sonoran Living - The Velocity Group) almost 9 years ago

Much agreed, the drama is not needed. This job is about helping others find what is right for Them, not yourself.

Posted by Bud & Beth McKinney, Cary/Raleigh/Apex NC - The Team That Cares, RE/MAX United (RE/MAX UNITED) almost 9 years ago

Well said, JL. Keeping the eye on the big picture and the client's interests is always beneficial to all.


Posted by Bruce Kunz, REALTOR®, Brick & Howell NJ Homes for Sale (C21 Solid Gold Realty, Brick, NJ, 732-920-2100) almost 9 years ago

You hit the nail on the head. It's all about the client. I won't pick up the phone, unless I have something of value to offer the person on the other end. I had a boss at Re/Max years ago who said, "Do a good job and the money will follow". It was good advice then and it's good advice now.

Posted by Millie C. Legenhausen, CRS, GRI, CIPS, MBA, Realtor (Calcagni Real Estate, Hamden, Connecticut) almost 9 years ago

Such a great post!  I have a list of about 100 agents I should send this to.  LOL

Posted by Lina Robertson, REALTOR® Serving Springfield, Nixa and Ozark, MO (RE/MAX Solutions and RE/MAX House of Brokers) almost 9 years ago

Great post, JL!  It seems so many people get caugh up in the "what's in it for me" mentality.  I am totally with you...you have to realize if it weren't for the client, you would be out of a job!


Posted by Anonymous almost 9 years ago

Lots of big egos in this town for sure.

Good post, thanks for sharing it.

Posted by Anthony Daniels, SF Bay Area REO Specialist (Coldwell Banker) almost 9 years ago

JL - I really like that quote.  I've heard it before, and I think it makes a lot of sense.

Posted by Christine Donovan, Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M (Donovan Blatt Realty) almost 9 years ago

Someone else said it but I was think thinking.... AMEN this is all that needs to be said.

Thank you!

Posted by Mike Dobbins, Scottsdale, Cave Creek, Carefree (Realty ONE Group) almost 9 years ago