10- There is nothing beautiful about the act of childbirth- Trust me, those of you who have seen this already know and those of you who do not believe me are not parents yet.
9- Many new born children really favor Danny Devito- They are short, fat, and nearly bald if not all the way bald. If you ask me, that's a lot like Danny Devito.
8- When you are already half asleep and exhausted, no one speaks your native tongue- They may be speaking English when they talk to me, but I have no idea what they are saying.
7- New born children know the exact moment that you get comfortable- In fact, their volume while screaming is directly linked to how comfortable you are at the time.
6- Leaving the ribbon off of your door and mailbox fools no one- People inherently know when you have brought a child home from the hospital and really need your rest. They will show up on your doorstep in droves.
5- Facebook starts to suck more than normal- All the sudden you will come very curious about the guy in China that's a "friend" of a "friend" and is commenting on a picture of your 2 week old because your sister in law just had to post a new one.
4- New born children can be used as a weapon- When I no longer want you in my home now, I feed my Son, then shake him up, and hand him to someone I want to leave. Those of you who have had an infant know what will happen next, those of you who have yet to become parents will learn on your on.
3- You had a plan- Had is the key word of that statement and planning is a nice thing to think you can do. But in all honesty, it's like a boxing match, everyone has a plan until they get hit and then it's just a fight.
2- Before the child arrives, you will think that you have way too many diapers stored. Then you realize that they really go through those things faster than you could have imagined.
Clean cloths make infants sick- Literally! If you are wearing nice, clean cloths what ever you do, do not pick up they child.
JL Boney, III - Columbia, SC Realtor - Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate
I specialize in Columbia, SC real estate and the surrounding areas, including Blythewood, SC, Kershaw County, Fairfield County, and Lexington, SC. If you are in the market to buy or sell a home in Columbia, SC or any of the surrounding areas, I would love the opportunity to speak with to see how I can help. Thanks for reading and feel free to contact me if I can be of service to you.
Office- 803-788-1450 Cell- 803-730-9601 Email- James_Boney@Yahoo.com