JL's Columbia SC Real Estate Blog: You Must Accept What You Cannot Change

You Must Accept What You Cannot Change


 This is a phrase I have heard repeatedly throughout my life and at various points of my existence I used to agree with it. I thought that there was no point in fighting what was inevitable, and I still believe this is true. No matter how hard we fight it, some things are simply destined to be and we will never change it regardless of how hard we fight and scream. Certain aspects of this life are completely out of our hands and there is no need to spit against the wind.

 However, lately I have come to believe that we must change what we can't accept. It's the same amount of words, but a completely different meaning and frankly I am starting to like this one better and better. Rather than simply accepting everything, we must learn to change what we cannot accept. We must learn to stand our ground rather than bow our heads in defeat.

 I cannot accept that where I am is a s far as I will go in this life! I am happy with my life, and I truly have no complaints about it, but I think that I can make it further before my fire burns out. It's called motivation.

 I cannot accept that one person can't make a difference! It all depends on your outlook and far you are willing to take your fight. Single individuals make brave efforts on a daily basis in an attempt to change the world. Some of them break through the fog and light a path that the rest will follow. They make a difference.

 I cannot accept that this economy will get the better of this nation! There are signs of improvement throughout the U.S. Some markets are even back to stable point that many refer to as good. Unfortunately there are still many people out of work and many that are still suffering from the ill effects of the financial bomb that was dropped on us. But they will make it through. We are a nation of resilience and we will prove it once again and put this behind us because we will refuse to accept failure. Instead we will change it to a success.

 I cannot accept that dreams must take a back seat to harsh reality! 200 years ago had you pointed to the night sky and uttered the words that one day man would walk on the Moon; you would have likely been introduced to a straight jacket. We now know that we have walked on the Moon, notice that walked is past tense because someone had the nerve to set their dream in motion and the changed what they could not accept.

 I cannot accept the fact that I will stop growing! I don't mean physically with time, age, and a lowered metabolism rate, I will one grow outward from my waist with no trouble. I mean personal growth in life. I think I am a good husband, but I think I can be a better husband and I will continue to attempt to become one. I think I am a good Son, but I think I can be a better Son and I will continue to work on this as well.

 This list of things that I refuse to accept can go on forever and ever. I'm sure if you think about it for a very short period, you will also come up with a long list of things that you are willing to fight against. SO while it's nice to realize that you must accept what you truly cannot change, I believe that we must also learn to change what we find unacceptable.






JL Boney, III - Columbia, SC Realtor - Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate

 I specialize in Columbia, SC real estate and the surrounding areas, including Blythewood, SC, Kershaw County, Fairfield County, and Lexington, SC. If you are in the market to buy or sell a home in Columbia, SC or any of the surrounding areas, I would love the opportunity to speak with to see how I can help. Thanks for reading and feel free to contact me if I can be of service to you.

Office- 803-788-1450     Cell- 803-730-9601     Email- James_Boney@Yahoo.com

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Comment balloon 18 commentsJL Boney, III • June 06 2009 02:04PM


Very clever.....and I have never heard it put that way. I must change what I cannot accept. Perfect!!! Excellent post

Posted by Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner, Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395 (Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395) about 10 years ago

JL -- I believe also that one person can make a difference --- I like your quote "I must change what I cannot accept." --- Great post. I always enjoy your attitude -- your personality comes across in your posts. Thanks.

Mama Liz's Signature

Posted by Liz Loadholt, Realtor--Broker-in-charge - Trainer--Relocation Director Covering SC (Liz Loadholt- AgentOwned Realty- Covering SC) about 10 years ago

I have to agree with you.  If we don't try to change what we don't like, then all we do is complain about how bad things are and aour attitude goes done the tubes!

Posted by William Feela, Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No. (WHISPERING PINES REALTY) about 10 years ago


I agree one person with convictions and committed can make a difference.

Good luck and success.

Lou Ludwig

Posted by Lou Ludwig, Designations Earned CRB, CRS, CIPS, GRI, SRES, TRC (Ludwig & Associates) about 10 years ago

Karen- Sometimes I come up with a good one.

Liz- I believe it as well. My personality is what it is and it creeps out in everything I do.

Bill- That's exactly why I believe we should try to change certain things.

Lou- It has been proved before my friend.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) about 10 years ago

JL - Any firm commitment is a step to the positive!  Stay the course and keep your head up ... I think you're on the right track! 

Once we start "accepting" we start "dying".

Look forward to, "Never Being Done!"  This is a sure recipe to a long and interesting life!

God Bless!

Posted by Lisa Wetzel, CDPE, SFR carsonvalleyland.com (RE/MAX Realty Affiliates) about 10 years ago

JL, I think if you study all the things you cannot accept you CAN CHANGE those things and it is not futile. There is WISDOM in identifying things that truly you CANNOT change, for example, most often another's behavior.

Posted by Gary Woltal, Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth (Keller Williams Realty) about 10 years ago

Hi JL-The serenity prayer probably says it best and the part you are talking about is the part of the prayer that says "courage to change the things you can and the wisdom to know the difference" I think that difference is different for each person. I really like this post and your line of thinking. You are very wise my young friend and yes compared to me you are a youngin. <SMILE>

Posted by Sharon Lee, Retired and loving life (Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance) about 10 years ago

Trying to be a better mother, father, husband, friend or anything is a noble feat. Don't accept it as you can change anything.

Posted by Chip Jefferson (Gibbs Realty and Auction Company) about 10 years ago

I like that you changed the words around.  There are many things that people accept and never make an attempt to change.  Taking the steps to change things you can not accept is a great way to live, as long as its for the right reasons.

Posted by John Cannata, Texas Home Mortgage - Purchase or Refinance (214-728-0449 http://TexasLoanGuy.com) about 10 years ago


I found this re-blogged on Karen's site.

I have to say this is one of the most powerful statements that I have read in a long time.

Thank you.

Posted by Mark MacKenzie about 10 years ago


Good post as usual. Every day in every way I try to get better. Some days are harder thatn others.

Posted by Terry Chenier (Homelife Glenayre Realty) about 10 years ago

Lisa- I make mine as interesting as possible, thanks for stopping in.

Gary- You can never change someone else.

Sharon- I have heard that prayer before, and I think it's a good one.

Laura- Never have and never will.

John- The right reasons are always important my friend.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) about 10 years ago

Mark- Thank you very much.

Terry- Some days will always be hard, but you just have to keep going.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) about 10 years ago

JL - I am an old hippie from California - I have a hard time accepting things that should be different.

Posted by Virginia Hepp - Mesquite NV REALTOR, Mesquite NV Homes and Neighborhoods - Search MLS (Desert Gold Realty - Mesquite NV Homes For Sale) about 10 years ago

Virginia- Nothing wrong with that my friend.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) about 10 years ago

Okay this could just be a coincidence but I watched a show last night that aired last Thursday.  They had the same thought that you did "Change the things you can't accept".  This morning I can not remember the name of the show but it was on the USA Channel.  Pretty good show about a Concierge Doctor in the Hamptons.  And can I say... OMG those estates are crazy crazy large.  Anyway, I heard the actor say this and I thought of you.

Posted by John Cannata, Texas Home Mortgage - Purchase or Refinance (214-728-0449 http://TexasLoanGuy.com) about 10 years ago

John- Very cool, if people in the Hamptons believe this, then it lends credibility to my statement.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) about 10 years ago