JL's Columbia SC Real Estate Blog: I was Wrong

HI JL-It does take a bigger person to admit when we are wrong and if we are never wrong in life then we aren't living. Great post. Have a great Friday. <SMILE>

JL - In my exhuberance to parrot news of the $8k being allowed as a downpayment, I emailed half a dozen clients the Realtor.com article. OOPs. So I had to right the wrong. Oh well. I just try to do the right thing. With that sometimes I get it wrong too. Smile and move forward.

JL - Although I love to think i'm always right. There have obviously been times I was wrong - sometimes even very wrong. You hit the nail on the head. Its tough and it hurts sometimes - but you always feel better after telling the truth. --- Great Post!

Glen

I think about this all the time. Why it is difficult to admit that "I'm worng ", "My mistake ", "I'm sorry ".

I would always admit it, whether it is to family, friends or clients or anyone, even starngers, If I did anything wrong. It makes me feel good inside and a strong person.

One of the best posts, I've seen here on AR.  

Good point JL.  I think a lot of our leaders in Washington could use this advice.  Rather than being seen as a sign of weakness I think it makes one look stronger and more secure when they can admit they made a mistake.  People look more foolish when they try to cover up their mistakes, which are invariably uncovered at a later date, and at a greater expense, both in reputation and cost, to the offender.  Great post and best of luck to you.

My wife and close friends have all said that my vulnerability is my biggest strength.  If you can't admit your wrong then what does that show to your clients?  I can't tell you how many times an apology has completely changed an event for the better.  Good post! 

JL --- of course, it does take a big person to admit they are wrong --- but is so important.  I'm in

Charlotte at theREBarCamp --- awesome.

Those words are very hard to say, but important sometimes.

It is great to be humbled.  We need it at least once a week.  If not once a day.

Shelton

Sharon- You have to be wrong once and a while or you're not really doing anything.

Claude- I think that one got a lot of people my friend.

Glen- It's better to just get it over with as soon as possible.

Suma- If you do this in life, it makes things much easier. Whether it be in your personal life or in business.

Jerry- Everything comes out in the wash, if you do the right thing, then you have nothing to hide.

Jared- Often times it will.

Liz- It is very important, hope you have a blast up there.

Brenda- True on both counts.

Shelton- I am humbled all the time.

JL - I'm actually getting better at this.  Now that I'm living with Jennifer, I'm becoming even better at it:)

Sardi- Marriage has made me an expert at being wrong my friend.

Well, I think you are wrong.  True, many people will be wrong in their life time.. but I am have not been wrong yet.  Perhaps it will happen ONE day.. but that day has not happened yet and I do not foresee it in the future (To my wife... if you read this, I am just kidding.  You have always been more than willing to point out my faults...).

All seriousness, you are absolutely correct.  Working in the corporate world for 15 years I came across many people who did not want to admit fault.  They were happy trying to dance around it and point fingers elsewhere.  Very frustrating.  If you are wrong, you're wrong.  It happens.  Move on.  And if you don't know... just say it.

I have no problem admitting when I am wrong, or to apologize. After-all, that's part of the training program we call marriage. Oh yes I forgot to add 'yes dear'

I also was taught at an early age not to lie, and over the years it has served me well. Now I am at a stage of life where I can turn to a client and with sincerity explain to them that if I say something different a week from now, it's not a lie, I just can't remember any more.

JL, I have heard that I was wrong, I love you, and I am sorry, are very difficult phrases for many of us. We just need to practice them. Congratulations on your feature.

No problem.  I have written a few blogs noticing readers that I was wrong about this or that.  Geez.  We can't be right all the time. 

If you learn something and have stated a contrary belief in the past, share the info with others.

If you can't admit you're wrong, you can't learn.

Is there anything more irritating that someone who constantly states "I know", "I know", "I know".

Great reminder that we're all human and it is OKAY to admit we're wrong, as it doesn't happen much.

Like Claude, I just had to admit that I was wrong and offer an apology after emailing a couple of my first time home buyers the news from the NAR site that they might be able to use the $8,000 tax credit towards a down payment.  I just gave those people another reason to sit on the fence :(. 

JL, I do being wrong very well. I've had a lot of practice over the years. Just don't tell my wife.

Admitting that you're wrong when you are gains you credibility. Great post!

www.MorSystems.com

Yes I was wrong the other day as well and had my gal put the $8000 on main website only to come down the next.  It is a mature place to come from admiting that I'm wrong or I made a mistake. If I'm wrong, I'm wrong.  Get over it and learn and grow from it.

Recently I ran into somebody that insists he's right when he's dead wrong. He would rather be right than admit his mistake.  No more business goes his way from me due to the poor result he delivered.  Now that's just stupid to be so right.....and pass up a gazillion in business.

We always say "do you want to be right or be happy"?  The other fun thing we do with being right.....we'll say OH YEAH.....this is your day to be right, my mistake.  Always works as it's just a reminder and most folks laugh.

JL...  The good news is that I am not too proud to admit that.  I just wish I was wrong less often.  Good points!

Who wouldn't rather be right than wrong...unfortunately it is not possible to always be right. It is hard to admit being wrong sometimes, but easier once you stop thinking about how it will go and just get the words out!

Great post, great thoughts!

oh yes... I have been wrong many times and had no problem admitting to my clients!!! I believe you get more respect... we are all human... no one can always be RIGHT!! It makes me feel a better person, and  gain credibility!!!  Thank you for the post

JL - Your title sure caught my attention.  Its a pretty simple thing to admit you were wrong when you get the ego out of the way.  It is, after all, the inflated ego that even makes us evaluate the right and wrong aspect of our lives.  Instead of "changing my mind", or seeing things from a different perspective, it has to be "right" or "wrong".  That is simple ego.  Things change all the time, why not our perspective?  Nice post.

With the media clamoring about Pelosi and the CIA wasting time pointing fingers and arguing about who lied to whom, maybe you could forward your post to them??

First, it was hard for me to say, "I don't know" and promising to get back to the person with an answer. That became easier with practice, lots of practice!

Kinda funny - once I finally became able to admit I was wrong, I discovered I was wrong more often. Or maybe the blinders had just come off.

But, I'm NOT WRONG about this, JL : your thought-provoking post deserved a pretty star!

I actually welcome those words. I find people trust you more when you admit you are wrong. I am wrong sometimes. When it hits me I admit it.

Admitting and being accountable is the first step to recovery  moving on and having a grand learning lesson...it's called growth :)

Abso Freakin Lutely!

We do not live in a perfect world, and the only times things really get screwed up is when people pretend like we do, or even worse, attempt to make everyone around them confirm their dilusional view of being in a perfect world.

Everyone makes mistakes.  It's how you deal with those mistakes that is critical.

Is someone saying the $8,000 cannot be used for FTHB down payment now?  If the mortgagee letter HUD published is wrong should I tell my borrowers I'm wrong for passing info onto them?

Wrong can be hard to admit when there are legal consequences and potential lawsuits....wouldn't you say?

I also don't have a problem telling my clients I don't know the answer to everything! Some people will just make stuff up!

I am reading the book "QBQ - the question behind the question" on personal responsibility.  Admitting you are wrong and taking ownership is truly  mark of humility and a willingness to learn!  Great post!

Yep, and I wrote a post on it today, now if only NAR, HUD and MAR would life would be good.

As much as I hate being wrong, admitting to it is a great character builder. I hold in great esteem others who can admit their errors.

Yep. Being able to admit to being wrong is also something that engenders respect from others. God only knows how many times that I've been wrong about things, adn guess what - until I die, I'll be wrong again, and just as willing to admit it when I am.

I hate  admitting when I am wrong!! Makes me feel so dumb! BUT, I am getting better at it.

JL...

Believe it or not, I have gotten better at this as I have gotten older. It's easy to be wrong, it's hard to admit it, but it is a genuine character builder! Congrats on the feature!

Hi JL - It takes real character to admit to mistakes and take ownership.  Your clients will respect you for your honesty as will others.

I actually feel very self-rightious when I admit that I'm wrong. Is that wrong??? :)

And btw... hooey on Sardiboy! I love him when he's wrong... It means I'm right!

How about if we take 100% responsbility for everything going on in our life and around us (in our field) and when we are feeling unloved, unwanted, unappreciated, unanything, we say to ourselves:

I Love You, I'm sorry, Please forgive me and Thank you!  Try it and see how it relieves stress.

These words are from ho'oponopono (woowoo for some) but if it resonates, google it.  I was lucky enough to attend a seminar sponsored by Dr Joe Vitale from "The Secret" and his book "Zero Limits" is a result of what he learned from Dr Hew Lin. 

I thought I was wrong once, but then I realized I was wrong about being wrong.  My mistake

On a long enough time line we will all make mistakes and i so agree with your idea that the sooner we suck it up and admit our mistakes...the better, FOR EVERYONE. Unfortunately ego is a strong deterrent for many and it used to be that way with me but not so much anymore. I like sleeping at night!

I think people actually respect you more when you admit you're wrong rather than watch you try to back pedal.  Who doesn't enjoy a little kowtow?

I have actually been learning to really enjoy admitting if I do something wrong. It just takes a great deal of pressure off my shoulders.

Being able to step up and tell a customer or client that you were misinformed is always the right thing to do.

I have more respect for people who admit they are human and make mistakes. We all need to own up and take responsibilty.

Thank you for this post.  I learned a long time ago that it pays to be able to admit when you are wrong.  People respect you for that.  I have always said that few people remember the way your handle your victories but they will always remember the dignity with which you handle defeat.  Awesome!

Thanks for the good post. People respect others who are able to admit they are wrong or made a mistake.

The truth will set you free, and I think, will also show your character.

Hey, JL.   I hate being wrong.  But, worse, I hate not knowing.  But, I have learned that not knowing and admitting it is a whole lot less trouble than being wrong.  Or stupid.  So, fess up when you"re wrong.  And don't say something unless you know it's true.  Simple.  But hard to do for some people.  As always, you get right to the crux of the matter.  Kudos to you!!!!

One of my agents makes me write it on the calender when I'm wrong and she's right.  How's that for doing it well?  I have no problem admitting when I'm wrong, unless it's to my kids.

Hi JL -- A relevant post.  If I screw up, I say: I'm sorry, I was wrong, and here is what I'm going to do to fix it.  I also follow it up by asking the person what else can I do to make it right?

JL,

I agree with you, I think humility goes a long way in building relationships.  Those words are never easy to say, but the person that hears them will appreciate it.

I admit when I am wrong..wish more people would do this.

Admitting you're wrong is usually a tough pill to swallow, but sometimes it just has to be done.

It's sometimes hard to admit, but always makes you feel better once you've done it.  Thanks for the reminder!

JL -

Few admit to being wrong, because they do not have the strength to handle the omission, or they feel such an admission will leave them exposed to legal or other action.

On the other hand, sometimes, we in the RE industry often know folks who couldn't defend being RIGHT.  Right Price, Right Fee, Right Marketing, etc. - too often, folks cave just to get a Listing Agreement Signature.

And this is often WRONG, without admission!

Great post - thanks for the share!

DEAN & DEAN'S TEAM CHICAGO

Even the Fonz had trouble saying "I was wrong".  Anybody remember him sounding like a car with a weak battery trying to get the words out? 

Doesn't 'My bad' work anymore?

Being WRONG happens... Just have to own up to it and admit it..WRONG happens. Not intended.. but happens from time to time.

Thanks for posting this. It reminds us that we're all human!

Hi JL...  You summed it up nicely in one word... "Integrity".

Congrats on the well deserved Gold Star!

Does anyone else have the problem of facing clients that you put in homes right at the peak of the market? It's tough knowing I told them this would be the best investment of their lives and most have lost every penny of their down-payments and now can't move because of negative equity. Three weeks ago I saw one past client from 2005 in the supermarket and she completely ignored me when i said hello. How do you say you were wrong if they won't even talk to you? Needless to say, I hurried up and got out of the store before she could key my BMW in the parking lot!

Admitting "my bad" is not a problem when lawyers are not in sight. Otherwise...

On a different note, George W. Bush once said, “If it feels good, do it. If you got a problem blame somebody else.”

Leslie, your post is brilliant. :)

With maturity comes the ability to say, I was wrong, and also the ability to say, Will you forgive me?

Hi JL - If anyone thinks they are never wrong, they are lying to themselves and they have a problem with honesty!  Being able to say (and truly mean what you say) those three words is important and we all need to learn how graciously!

Mary

One of my favorite sayings is, "I could be wrong....but I doubt it."  Of course, its said in jest, because I'm wrong plenty!  Admitting my wrong-ness is indeed a bitter pill to swallow, but we all must take that medicine once in a while...

We are all wrong from time to time and the measure is to know when and make amends. Not many do that!

JL,

What great advice...if I am ever wrong I will remember this post......just kidding....another great post

when you are wrong, you need to be the first to say you are wrong and offer up what solutions you have available to fix what went wrong and you will be amazed and how easy it really it.......

So many of our politicians could learn from this.  Instead of hiding behind their actions and lying about them, they could just step up and say I was wrong and I am sorry.

On the other hand, saying I was right can also cause so many problems depending on the attitude with which the words are spoken!

It has been my experience that when you are wrong, it often is enough just to admit it. Very often it takes the wind out of the other person's sails.

Hi JL - You are so right!!!   Lol.  Lot of good points in the comments.

I have two points to add:

1)  Learning requires losing your fear of making mistakes.  When trying something new, I make more mistakes than most because I try different approaches.  But I adjust quickly when I see I'm wrong.  I welcome these mistakes - they are signposts in the process of learning.

2) Sometimes being right is irrelevant.  Especially when you are right.  The key thing:  don't make others wrong.  Just let it go.  Everyone wins that way.

IMHO.  But I could be wrong...

Jl, I totally agree with you. It is very hard to admit sometimes that we were wrong. However, if somebody admits to me that they were wrong, I have a bigger respect for them. The other thing is to admit being wrong to your own kids. We are trying very hard to be the ones who know everything better and do everything better, but sometimes we just don't. Admitting to your own kids that you were not exactly right is hard, but it also teaches them that we are only humans. Everybody makes mistakes. You just need to learn from those mistakes and move on.

JL, people who can not admit that they have made a mistake are just not cut out for this business.  They need to go and find something else to do. 

I have never been able to understand people who can not admit when they are wrong.  No one is perfect.  It's just the right thing to do and you always feel so much better afterwards.  Good post!

Good post. Humility is a wonderful attribute, and it takes just that to admit that you're wrong -- if and when you are. 

Congratulations on the feature and this is a nice post. Regardless of whether the stiuation is professional or personal, although it may be difficult to say, I usually feel better after I say it.

JL - this first thing I thought about when I read this is "What did he do to upset his wife). But maybe I was wrong and you are really talking about professional matters. I have so many virtual scars from falling on the virtual sword so many times.....I won't say it gets easier, but I do know, like a root canal, it feels a whole lot better afterwards.

Well put. When I was younger I used toberate myself for my failures. it seems I had a zero tolerance level for my own life. When I learned to forgive myself first, it made it so much easier to ask for foregiveness.

 making mistakes is part of being human. It's ok to admit your are wrong, apologize and move forward.

Patricia Aulson/Portsmouth NH Real Estate

Admitting you were wrong shows more character than refusing to admit you made a mistake. We are all human and are going to make mistakes sometimes. It is not easy to admit sometimes but it is something that must be done when you do make a mistake.

I definetly have to agree with this. The only thing I hate more than admitting I am wrong is when someone else is wrong and wont admit it.

I always know when I am wrong....My wife makes sure of that.  It is something that can be hard to admit, expecially if you have been in denial most of your life.

JL- You are so right with this post.  Many people have a hard time admitting when they are wrong, but it is so important.  This was one of David Gibbons points during his presentation on "Do's and Don'ts in Social Networking" at REBarCamp Charlotte yesterday.

JL- You are so right with this post.  Many people have a hard time admitting when they are wrong, but it is so important.  This was one of David Gibbons points during his presentation on "Do's and Don'ts in Social Networking" at REBarCamp Charlotte yesterday.

Great post and I am glad to see a few people include the apology with the admission of error, because usually, our errors can be hurtful and an apology is as important as the admission of error.

JL, Thanks for the great post. It is a hard thing to admit, but we all make mistakes.

My hubby has been proving me wrong for years.  My friends don't rub my face in it when I'm wrong and working in the mortgage biz for nearly eight years, I've been proven wrong numerous times.  There is nothing wrong in being wrong - there is no shame in making mistakes.  As you pointed out, it takes a big person to suck it up and admit they are wrong.

On another note, I've actually enjoyed it sometimes when I've been proven wrong.  On these occassions, I get the wonderful opportunity to learn something new; to learn from my mistakes.  Those are actually some pretty good moments.

What's up with Leslie Anon?  I just wrote a post about how I'm not going to be blamed for selling real estate and how the market turned out for some. Sounds like someone feels guilty??

But back to you J.L.  I think it takes humility and integrity to admit you are wrong.  That is hard for me on some subjects, easy on others. I feel terribly bad when I have to say 'I was wrong about this person'. I guess I consider myself a good judge of character and sometimes my antennea/radar are bent.

I appreciate the courage when someones admits they were wrong.     

I also admit...I'm HUMAN...and I've found that the only way we can keep from making mistakes in life is if we DON'T DO ANYTHING!   And as you will see on my recent blog post...at times...I'm just plain DUMB! 

JL, you are a wise man!  I have been divorced many more years than most people stay married because I spent years trying to be a perfectionist and I never  REALLY LEARNED that.   ALL of us are human and can't live up to anyone's expectations except our own...if THAT.  Of course NOW I know and accept that it's ok to make mistakes if we learn from them...but  NOW it's hard to find someone to put up with me...as I get more HUMAN daily!  :)

I have and will say when I'm wrong.  Thanks for reminding us that it's okay to be human and admit when we make mistakes. 

I do try to use disclaimers wherever appropriate; "I think that", "from what I understand", "I'm not sure but", "you'll have to check with your _______" and "if you need more information I'll get it for you".   I don't want to sound like I don't know what I'm talking about but I'd rather people know that I don't always have all the answers.

John- It can create a much larger issue when you want just admit that you were wrong and get over it.

Ed-  am in that same training program my friend.

Gary- I think it would be a good idea.

Lenn- I think that when we are wrong, it's a chance learn something new.

Tina- As long as we are human, we better get used to making mistakes.

Mary- I think that one got quite a few people.

Bryant- I'll keep it between us.

Shelly- Yes it does.

Anna- I have seen people like that myself, thanks for stopping by.

Sarah- You're not alone on that one.

Holly- Sometimes you have to just blurt it out.

Inez- It's just part of doing the right thing.

Jim- Ego can certainly get in the way sometimes.

Joetta-I don't think this would help them.

Irene- I gets easier when you realize it's a good thing.

Nannette- It does give credibility.

Sally- Agreed completely.

Ralph- I don't believe in faking it.

Brad- There certainly can be.

Kristi- Making things up is bad idea.

Richard- Sounds like a good book.

Missy- I don't think they will be doing so.

CoBa- I do as well.

William- I expect to be wrong many more times if I live long enough.

JL:  Couldn't agree more.  If you're wrong folks you're wrong.  Better to be up front and admit it.  We're all human after all.

There is an art to admitting you are wrong.  Be honest and sincere, and leave the guilt out.  Many admit that they are wrong in a way that does not lift up the people involved...kind of makes you think they are crying crocodile tears.  But not this group!!

When you discover that you are wrong it helps to immediately tell the other side !   Do it directly and without making lame excuses.  Also, don't be afraid to say " I don't know."

JL, When I read this it reminded me of Fonzie trying to say he was sorry, which was hard for him since he was never wrong. For most of the show when he tried to say it all he could get out was wr..

I like these three words better:  you were wrong!

HA HA HA

:-)

Joe King

JL,

Exactly. The best course is to go ahead and admit you were wrong. Once you learn to do it without too much sweat it's then easy to deal with internally.

I am married and have a son in college and a daughter in high school...for the past 20 some years, being wrong has never been a problem for me as it seems to come to me naturally according to them...I am just excited when on the rare occasion they think I am right.

Mike

JL you are absolutely correct. Admitting when you are wrong, though difficult, is certainly the way to go. Do I always do it? No. Should I? Well......thank you for reminding us that if we are doing a lot of business, it is just going to happen. Makes me feel better. Phew! Now about that "wrong thing"... ;-)

JL...

Wow, this one has been up a long time ... I was just checking to see if you got 100 comments and indeed you did. Good job.

I am trying to teach my children how to say those 3 words right now! Admit the error, move to correct it, and then MOVE ON.

Being wrong is part of being human and can be one of toughest parts.  Admit, take corrective action, learn and move on to higher ground. 

JL: Thanks for the post. Honesty and transparency should be part of all our lives. It helps a person sleep better at night! Thanks for the post.

It's hard for alot of people to say "I was wrong" or "I don't know".  Especially when you are presenting yourself as a professional.  BUT there is nothing more important than to stand up and admit as soon as you know you WERE wrong or that you DO NOT know something.   Being honest is part of being efficient and responsible and ethical.  We can usually fix what we know is wrong, but there's not a darn thing we can do about what we don't know about.. until it hits the fan!

It's too late you two, I already saw it :)

I was wrong...Once :)

TLW...ROAR!

I said I was wrong once, but I was mistaken.  :)  in all seriousness, saying you are wrong AND apologizing are two skills that we all need to work on more.

You're right JL, many people can't admit it, but the few that can are definitely a breath of fresh air!

I'll freely admit it when it happens.  Thank goodness it is extremely rare.

Oh this is such a good reminder.  I was mistaken.  I was wrong.  I am so sorry.  They really aren't that hard to say, and pave the way for huge benefits.    Great reminder.

And say it as soon as possible. Don't let it "fester" and snowball out of control. I hate having to say those words but I do, every so often. Along with I'm Sorry.